"You must in all Airs follow the strength, spirit and disposition of the horse, and do nothing against nature; for art is but to set nature in order, and nothing else." – William Cavendish, 1st Duke of Newcastle

“Everyone do a pushup on the count!” 

We all drop to the carpet. 

I go on my knees. I have been getting better at doing pushups on my knees. I can at least do them now. 

I pinch my shoulders together and hold myself up. 

“Ichi!” 

I drop toward the carpet and raise back up, exhaling on the upward push. 

We go through six of them. 

“Roku, KIAI!” The students around me shout.

I do not. 

We are done with chart and exercises. It is time to go work on kata. 

I pick a spot on the wall and line up next to another yellow belt, so we can go through our kata together. 

She is a returning student, much younger than me but it is nice to have another girl to work with. 

She doesn’t remember her katas well. I don’t mind, it is helpful for me to speak the next step out loud, this solidifies what I know.

One of the sensei comes up to us and watches with his arms folded behind his back.

“It is time to start your second kata.” 

Heck yeah, I am so ready. 

It begins similarly to the first, but the stances are deep. Seiunchin stance, it is almost a squat with my feet spread three feet apart and my toes on a forty-five degree angle. 

I must stay level and low to the ground the whole time. 

It goes on and on. 

My legs start to quake. 

Sensei doesn’t release us from the stance while he speaks. 

The other yellow belt straightens her knees.

“I didn’t tell you to stand! Give me five pushups!” Her eyes widen and she looks at me. I shrug. 

“You too!” He spins on me. 

“Five pushups on the count!” 

“I didn’t even do anything!” I protest and almost immediately wish I hadn’t.

“I didn’t do anything SIR, pushups, now!” 

I drop to my knees. 

“Not on your knees, real ones!”

 I cannot do a real pushup. 

I lower myself and collapse. The other girl does the same. I gather my strength and push myself up onto my knees then I lift them so I am back in a plank. 

This is a good in-between. 

“How do you get through life with so little upper body strength?” 

I scowl and glance up to find him grinning.

“Ayyyy, take it easy,” he says.

“I’m trying, Sir.”

“Ni!” He counts for us. 

We get through the pushups and go back to kata. It isn’t any easier to stand in this deep stance than it was before. 

He doesn’t teach us the whole kata, just to the first kiai.

“This part you must kiai.” He looks at me when he speaks. 

I don’t say anything. 

He calls over a black belt. The student trots over and bows before standing at attention. 

“Kiai, Sir.” The black belt releases a yell from the bottom of his stomach. 

I jump.

They bow at each other and the black belt goes back to the other side of the dojo.  

The sensei motions with his finger for me to step forward. 

“Kiai, yellow belt!” 

This is so stupid.

“Yaaaw.” 

He laughs. 

“What was that? YeeeHawww? Are you going to the rodeo? You have to yell from here,” he points to his belly. 

“It has to come from deep inside. Not the top of your lungs. This is not the opera. Now, KIAI!” 

Ugh! 

“YAaaw!” 

He closes his eyes for a moment. 

“We will have to work on this.” 

Fat chance.